Your partner or best friend’s running addiction was cool at first. Now it’s just getting out of hand.
Let’s take a moment to talk about that person in your life who clearly has a running problem. Running is not a bad thing– actually there are times when you envy their lifestyle. There are other times when you wonder if they are a little bit… well, over the top with the whole thing. You’re not alone: other people’s best friends and spouses have been acting this way too. Here’s how you know this person has a running problem.
1. Your spouse leaves NO room on the shoe rack for your shoes.
Why do they need 56 pairs of the same shoe? Why can’t they keep them in the closet? Would they notice if you threw out a few?
2. Your friend can talk about their GPS watch to no end.
And you never cared. You still don’t care.
3. You wish you could go out to the bar ONE TIME with someone who is actually dressed for it.
But no. He/she insists on wearing spandex and sweat-wicking fabrics with the neon shoes every single time. And runs home after.
4. You’ve been dragged to one of their social gatherings and were forced to run.
The events seemed normal at first. Dinner at the cool pub downtown? Sure. Beers at your city’s brewery? Of course. But then you found out that you had to run 10K first and the conversation revolved around running. No one told you about these deal breakers.
5. You wake up alone. All. The. Time.
Others couples cuddle. You do not. So you got the cat.
6. Your spouse times himself/herself doing everyday tasks and you have no idea why.
You’re pretty sure he’s secretly trying to better his PB in dish doing.
7. Your husband was wearing tights when you introduced him to your friends for the first time.
And you just played it off casually.
8. Your idea of fun: partying. Your BFF’s idea of fun: a workout class together.
You never see eye to eye on this one.
9. At least you get to starfish in the mornings.
And you get all the covers too. The bed is now all to yourself so you can be lazy while your spouse does a workout.
10. Your dog is now used to your spouses pace and gives you “the look” which suggests you’re going too slow.
You know Fluffy doesn’t mean to be rude but that is seriously the most insulting look ever.
11. What’s with the pile of mesh clothes everywhere?
The house/ apartment is never clean. It’s never clean because it looks like someone took all the racks from The Running Room and dumped them all over your bedroom.
12. You have to come up with fool-proof strategies to get your friend drunk on Saturday nights so she’ll stay out.
She’s always going home because she has to go to bed early and it’s stupid.
13. You’ve thought about hiding the blender so you wouldn’t have to hear it at 6:00 a.m. anymore.
It’s the most irritating noise. You’re trying to sleep but you can’t because your husband is blending ALL the bananas and you want to kill him.
14. If there was a way you could earn a dollar for every time your husband said “PB,” you would actually quit your job.
And pay off the mortgage.
15. Listening to your wife’s running friends is appalling.
And you have no idea what they are talking about but nod along anyways pretending to understand.