My life as a dog

Day 9 of 130
Ks covered: 57
Ks to go: 1,045
General mood: Tired, but happy
Running highlight: 10K in (just) under an hour
Equipment status: Needs to be washed
Body status: Chafing cut now a mere scab, otherwise good

My alarm clocks wear diapers.  I’ve spent a lot of time awake in the wee hours of the morning over the past few years. Never out of choice. Imagine then, how odd it felt when this electronic thing next to my bed went off at 5:15am this morning: The house was dead silent; no-one was calling for mummy; I had running pants on.

Seriously, I deliberately got out of bed pre-dawn, put on my sneakers and semi-luged the stairs to our basement treadmill. Honestly, I deserve a medal for making it there –I’m not talking a ParticipACTION badge. I’m talking a huge, top of the podium, marching band medal. Because today, I made Canada proud.

The slogan of the Vancouver Olympics is ‘With Glowing Hearts’…and maybe my performance wasn’t so glowing at first glance. I beg to differ. Yes, I set out to do at least 8Ks, and squeaked out only five. Yes, that five took me almost 35 minutes. And yes, stabbing my eye with a toothpick might have been more invigorating. But the way I look at it running so freakishly early deserves bonus points. 5K at 5am is more like 10K at 9am. Right? I mean, it’s like dog years. One human year = seven dog years. One oh-my-god-I-can’t-believe-I’m-awake-at-this-hour kilometre = Two I’m-a-civilized-rational-human-being-and-got-up-at-a-normal-time Kilometre.  Keep that in mind and my time was pretty spectacular. By that scale, if they move the Ottawa Marathon start-time to 5:15am, I should be able to crack 2hrs 10. Take that Kenyans!

Another bonus. Running is making me smarter. Did you know that it’s possible to cut up a dozen boiled eggs for your egg salad in mere seconds? That your life will be better if you turn all your food into juice? Or, that there are some really super duper support hose that squeeze your belly fat so tight that you have a six pack on your stomach and six chins on your face? 5:30am TV is seriously revelational.

Running is so enlightening!

Now, if only I could figure out why I have this overwhelming urge to buy a blanket with arms…

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