Sometimes to you just can’t re-invent the wheel but kudos to those who try. The sport of running is perhaps most attractive because of its simplicity. Think about it: it requires a pair of shoes, a rotation of comfortable outfits, a time commitment that’s yours to decide upon and maybe a few race entries a year – if that’s your thing. Nevertheless, the lifestyle’s simplicity hasn’t stopped some companies from going rogue and dreaming up some rather absurd running inventions. Here are just a few of our favourites. Hey, you can’t always get it right.
This ill-fated gimmick by the otherwise solid running shoe brand was, shall we say, not springy. The blades didn’t propel a runner forward providing energy from no where, as that’s not how physics works, sadly. Thankfully, their Boost midsole technology is neither ridiculously heavy (like the Springblade) or painfully firm (also like the Springblade). Adidas wisely and quietly retired this design shortly after its release in 2014.
While the intent behind this one was a good one, we have to say it: this running accessory is just a bit outrageous. We took it for a run a couple years ago and couldn’t help but catch a case of the giggles. The creators of this product wanted runners to be able to give warning of their presence to those who they share the sidewalks and roads but um… wouldn’t “on your left” do just fine? Not to load on the snark here, but this one was bit out to lunch.
Breathing in polluted air is dangerous, yes. But going out for a run with the DetoxAir Breathe mask is purely social suicide. Seriously, what were the makers of this thinking?! Sure, breathing in cleaner air on the run would be nice… we’re just pretty sure no one wants to do it with an air vent strapped to their face.
Nike Cooling Hood
When power couple of track and field, Ashton and Brianne Eaton sport this one, it looks great. Then again, anything they wear would look great. Anyone else who sports this just looks like a really fit Q-tip.
Props to you if you’re bold enough to leave the house with an altitude mask on your head. We’re just that not comfortable in our own… er… mask. A couple years ago, we tested this. At this time, our reviewer said: “The mask, for better or worse, will make you look like Bane, the Batman villain, and sound like Darth Vader. It’s also hot and a bit uncomfortable. And you certainly can’t drink water with the mask on… Still, it’s an upgrade from the old version, which looked more suited for a war zone than your local GoodLife.”