Motivational running phrases that are actually the worst

You know the running stereotypes. From the zen run on the beach with the golden early morning rays to the wind-through-the-hair mountain meadow frolic. Runners know that it’s not really like that at all. Well, maybe sometimes.

Perhaps these stereotypes get perpetuated as a way to replace negative thoughts with positive imagery to get us mentally prepared for when the trails are a little tough. That’s not a bad thing. But, it has to be said: Sometimes we go a little overboard. One example would be the motivational running phrases. Yes, at least one of these has inspired us but that doesn’t stop us from poking fun at them.

Here’s your list of pretty ridiculous running phrases:

1. Sweat is fat crying.

OK, this one is great to push yourself when losing weight. That is true. But try to say this with a serious face. Sweat is fat crying. Really?

2. Forget the glass slippers, this princess wears running shoes.

All no. We can’t. We can’t even.

3. The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.

Was it a a miracle though? How should we define “miracle” going forward?

4. Don’t ask me why I run. Ask yourself why you don’t.

So preachy. This holier-than-thou phrase needs to go away forever.

5. May the course be with you.

It was funny the first time. And now it’s not.

6. Pain is just weakness leaving your body.

Yeah, it has gotten us to push through the pain. Again though, say it with a straight face. Also, who hasn’t wanted to smack the coach who has smugly said this while you were hobbling along with cramps because you ate brownies before practice?

7. Listen for the unwritten symphonies in your footsteps.

Listen really hard though.

8. Pain is temporary but pride is forever.

OK we get what this is saying and not to be too picky, but who has has a really bad stress fracture or torn hamstring? How was your pride while hobbling around in crutches or “the boot”?

10. To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.

We’d give anything to sacrifice this quote.

11. The first step is the hardest.

Anyone who applies this to running would definitely fail at rehab.

12. Why are these people following me? (often seen on T-shirts)

Because you’re in a race. Which you entered. And races generally have other people in them.

13. No matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch.

But is that your goal?