What runners say and what they really mean

You know when you say something to a non-runner and you feel like they didn’t quite get it? It can be hard to decode runner speak at times. Here’s what you MEANT to say:

1) I have a huge appetite

What you mean: I will eat enough to feed a small family. Then, two hours later, I might do it again. I even eat dinner before going on dinner dates.

2) I’m a morning person

What you mean: I’m up when most people think it’s still nighttime. I actually know what the world looks like before sunrise.

3) I’m really out of shape right now

What you mean: I struggled through yesterday’s 10K and until I can run a half-marathon easily, I will continue to say this.

4) My feet are ugly

What you mean: Blisters and callouses are the least of it. I rarely have all ten toenails. I went for a pedicure and the salon owner judged me. Never again.

5) I need new shoes

What you mean: I bought a nice pair last month. Those are now worn out. The eleven pairs on my shoe rack are dead, I keep them for looks only.

6) I did a good distance today

What you mean: I ran my normal route and then I tacked on another 4K. I ran at least 20K.

7) I have nothing to wear out tonight

What you mean: All of my clothes are for running and I don’t think this sports bra counts as party attire.

8) I haven’t run in forever

What you mean:  I don’t know how it happened but I took four days off in a row.

9) Can we go shopping?

What you mean: I might make you pop into the running store because I need new tights. I also heard there’s an updated version of my favourite running shoe and I read about a new nutrition supplement that I’m going to have to find. I’m not planning on coming into your stores this time.

10) Yeah, I’m just going to do a quick run first

What you mean: I’m going for at least a half-hour. Then I may explore a new park I just found. I should do some ab work and stretch my IT band. Then I’m going to shower. It’ll be at least three hours before we go anywhere. 

11) I’m going to take it easy tonight. Workout tomorrow

What you mean: I’m going to be boring tonight. Find a new friend. There’s no way I’m doing tequila shots in that dive bar you want me to go to.

12) I’m going running

What you mean: You won’t see me for two hours and no I’m not bringing my phone.