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What your younger runner self didn’t know about running

No number of foot baths will save those feet.

Remember the days when you first started running? Back then, a half-hour of nonstop running sounded nearly impossible, a 10K might as well have been a marathon and if someone dropped the words “PB,” or “rabbit,” in conversation you probably thought they were talking about peanut butter and bunnies. As excited as we were to learn all about running, there are many things we’re glad we were so naive about in the early days. And a few such examples are…

1. Black toenails.

Every runner remembers their first black toenail. Don’t get all weepy on us. It was a milestone in your running career but little did you know how horribly annoying this ailment would become.

2. Shin splints.

You heard the word and you knew it was a common running injury. Then you got the dreaded shin splints. You thought they were better and started running only to bring on the shin pain again. Shin splints are like that awful cold that tends to linger…

3. The 38K point in the marathon.

You signed up for your first marathon and were all excited about it. You ran the first half and everything was fine. Then somewhere near the 38K mark you had to question why NO ONE told you about this agony. For awhile there, you completely doubted what this whole marathoning thing was even all about. Now your mental strength is that much better because of it.

4. Runner’s trots.

When you started running, you had no idea that you would either poop your pants or come dangerously close. When that happened, you were sure it was a one-time thing. It wasn’t.

5. The beer mile.

Beer + running = awesome. It could have been as simple as that… but you puked on your team mate didn’t you?

6. Tight calves.

Calves are the worst. Yes, we rely on them and yes, they may carry us through those long runs but they are the most high-maintenance body part. When you started running, you didn’t know about the compression socks and all the massaging, foam rolling, strengthening, etc. And after all that, they STILL act up. Useless.

7. Dead toenails.

So you got the black toenail and just decided to wear closed-toe shoes or dark nail polish. Then it started to come off. Dead toenail extraction is easily the grossest thing that runners do.

8. Being blinded by your own sweat.

And trying to act normal about it even though that stuff stings… real bad.

9. Bloody nipples.

This is just painful and you’re also not cool with the fact that your favourite shirt got stained.

10. Showering after chafing.

So you got a little chafe action going on on the run. No big deal. You had almost forgotten all about it as you stepped into the shower. Then you felt the horrible sting of water on chafed sting. Being a newbie was tough.

11. How out of hand your shoe obsession would become.

If your partner is irked because of how much space your shoes are taking up, he/she has the right to be FYI.

12. How familiar the taste of your own sweat would become.

At first it was disgusting, then you got used to it. Then you went running in winter, got a runny nose and repeated the process. Now you’re just kind of sick of these flavours more than anything.

13. Your attraction to other runners.

Society may have us conditioned to like buff men and women with perfectly kept hair. Runners however know that wiry marathoners are the most handsome and that women with sweaty and matted hair are the most gorgeous.

14. Defending your hobby to non-runners.

When you first laced up those shoes, you had no idea how many times you’d have to explain why you like running, how far you can run, why it’s not about your weight and that yes you do run in the winter.