8 simple rules for dating a runner

So you’ve fallen in love with a runner — congratulations! Runners, in our not-so-humble opinion, are possibly the best people on the planet. Of course, they do have their own quirks, and if you want to have a long-lasting relationship with the runner in your life there are a few things you should know.  To keep them happy, follow these eight simple rules for dating a runner.

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1. Never ask us if we’re going “jogging”

This is possibly the most offensive thing you can say to a runner. We run, we do not jog. There is a difference, so don’t get the two confused.

2. Don’t try to make plans for Sunday mornings

Sunday mornings are a sacred time reserved for our long run. If you want to plan an activity, it’s going to have to be in the afternoon. On that note, Sunday afternoons are usually spent recovering from our long run, so maybe just don’t plan anything for Sundays that involve straying too far from the couch…

3. Don’t expect us to stay out late on a Saturday night, either

Not only do we have to get up early in the morning for our long run, but we have to make sure we fuel properly the night before, and hydrate as well. You can go out and party if you want, but don’t expect us to join you.

4. Always make sure there’s lots of food in the house

Bonus points if that food is carbs. On that note — if you’re planning on starting a keto or low-carb diet, we most certainly will not be joining you. And we’re probably going to eat carbs in front of you, too.

5. If we come back from a long run missing a sock, don’t ask questions

Hey, sometimes you run into digestive issues while you’re out on the trail and you don’t have any other option. What happens on the trail, stays on the trail… as does the sock.

6. Don’t expect us to be flexible

We mean that both literally and figuratively. Our training schedule is set in stone and we’re pretty hard-nosed about it, so don’t expect us to move a track session so you can take us out to dinner. We’re also just happy if we can touch our toes without bending our knees, so if you’re hoping for some sort of acrobatics, you’re going to be disappointed.

7. Don’t buy us pedicures as gifts

OK, we get it — our feet are gross. But those calluses have been built up by miles and miles of training, and without them, we’ll be left hobbling the last few miles of our run with very sore feet. Then you’ll be stuck listening to us complain about our blisters for the rest of the week, and that’ll be even less fun for you than it is for us.

8. Get ready to be our #1 cheerleader

We’re going to run a lot of races, and there’s no one we want cheering us on more than you. Be prepared to get up early and stand outside in all types of weather only to catch a glimpse of us crossing the finish line — it may not be the most pleasant way to spend your weekend, but it will mean the world to us.