Hacks to elevate yourself from dirtbag runner status…

Not too long ago, we published a piece to help our fellow runners identify whether or not they are in fact a true dirtbag runner. For those of you who identified with our list of repulsive running habits (you know who you are), we want you to know that you’re not a lost cause. You can in fact rise up from dirtbag status and become more, er, cleanly. Below, a few hacks to make repugnant runners less, well, nasty. 

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Wipes is where it’s at. Listen up dirtbag, you’ve got to get yourself some body wipes – and plenty of them. If the run has already happened today but for some reason shower time is in the distant future, save yourself by quickly wiping away the BO. Do it for yourself and do it for those around you. Throw the wipes in the garbage after. Replenish the wipes when finished. 

Grin and bear it: just ask to use the officer shower. Just ask. Plenty of offices have that shower that no one really uses but guess what? Someone should. Dirtbag runner, you in particular really should. Too intimidated to ask your coworkers how to get access? They will be supportive and proud of you when you do. Turn on said shower and lather up. 

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Always arrive with an extra change of clothes. If you are unsure when the run or workout is going to happen, it won’t hurt to have a spare set of clean clothes at the ready. Set aside a spot at work to keep them. Change immediately after stinking up your current set. 

Fork out for the laundry services if need be. Runners generate loads of laundry. If the schedule is too busy to keep up with it all, or if getting a load done requires a trek to the laundromat, take advantage of services that do it for you. Hey, you may have to fork out a few extra bucks but showing up fresh and smelling lovely is basically mandatory in this world.

Make pre-run coffee part of your routine. OK, if you have a habit of pooping in public somewhere on your route, there’s news for you: your poop does stink and those who spot you or your excrement are absolutely horrified. Drink coffee before your run to make sure the poop situation is history before lacing up the shoes.  

Keep spare deodorant, sprays and lotions at work. Too much deodorant never hurt anyone. Not enough deodorant makes other people want to chop off their own noses and die. Enough said.