Sentences your non-runner friends won’t understand
What runners say and what it sounds like to the uninitiated
Many of the terms that runners use every day either have very different meanings when taken out of context, or would simply make no sense in any other setting. When you leave your running friends to socialize with your non-running friends, remember that some of these simple sentences don’t translate to every social situation.
Runner: Today I’m going to do LSD because tomorrow is speed.
Translation: This sounds like a reference to illegal substances, but it’s just referencing long slow distance and speedwork.
Runner: I’m pretty nervous, this workout will for sure take me to the well.
Translation: We’re not talking about taking a trip to an underground water source. What we’re trying to say is, “This workout is going to kick the crap out of me, making me feel physically ill and question why I choose to run.”
Runner: Yeah, it was a good race. I ran a negative split, so I’ve got lots more in the tank for next time.
Translation: Using the word negative to describe something that is positive is very counterintuitive. A negative split usually means that you can go faster in the future.
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Runner: I’m thinking about banditing this race.
Translation: This sounds like you’re about to steal the entire race. Which makes no sense. You’re really saying, “I regret not officially entering this race, so I am considering jumping in and running it just for the fun of it.”
Runner: I bonked so hard today.
Translation: The word bonk sounds like you hit your head. What you’re really saying is, “My body told me that I wasn’t as good as I thought I was.”
Runner: Today’s workout is three sets of four by two with one.
Translation: This sounds like you’re reciting a weird postal code. You’re actually saying, “Today I’m going to do three sets of four two-hundreds metre runs with one minute rest.”
Runner: My stride felt funny during my strides.
Translation: This sounds redundant–like you lost your way mid-sentence. This simply means, “My body felt weird while I was doing 60-metre accelerations.”
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Runner: I need to stock up on baby food.
Translation: This sounds like you’re expecting a baby, which would be a surprise to your friends. You actually mean, “I don’t have a baby, but baby food sits well in my stomach before races, and I’ve got a lot of races coming up.”
Runner: I didn’t run yesterday, I’m so sore.
Translation: For most people exercise is equal to muscle soreness. But sometimes with runners, not shaking out the lactic can actually make you more sore.
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