Home truths about the Barkley Marathons (part 1)

In 2017, Barkley Marathons enthusiast and sometime ultrarunner Henry Speir wrote a blog post entitled “Barkley Self-Evident Truths,” and he has helpfully tweeted this series of maxims to remind Barkley attempters of some simple facts about their chances in a race that might best be described as “diabolical.” 

Barkley Self-Evident Truths

#0: a.k.a., the Dobies Dictum (attributed to multiple Barkley attempter Mike Dobies): You can’t learn if you listen with your mouth. 

#1: You toe the line at the yellow gate with the training you have, not the training you wish you had.

#2: Weather happens–the successful Barker wastes little time and energy on this and instead focuses on aspects within his control. (Frozen Ed’s alternative wording: The weather may not be under the runners’ control, but it is a wise usage of their time to prepare for all types of Barkley weather, because almost all of them will occur during the event. Laz’s take: All extremes of Barkley weather have been known to happen within a single loop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Karel Sabbe (@karelsabbe)

#3: There are two ways of quitting at the Barkley: Direct and Indirect–Direct is the aspiring Barker declaring, regardless of reason, that they are unwilling to continue; Indirect is the lack of will to move at an appropriate pace so as to not timeout. 

#4: Manage your calorie intake; the successful Barker will not allow himself to even go into “mico-famine”–if you are near the end of a loop and need to eat, do so, don’t wait to get in camp. (Attributed to 2009 Barkley finisher Andrew Thompson)

Hubris: a blessing and a curse

#5: One cannot make it far at the Barkley without above average hubris. However, hubris is also one of the leading causes of a Barkley attempt being cut short. The successful Barker is aware of, and will manage this.

#6: There is no “wishing” at Barkley–there is “vision” and the steadfast will to then realize that vision. Thompson corollary: “Out there,” once the switch is flipped, and that vision is compromised in the slightest, it’s all but impossible to unflip.

laz and little wait at HQ. Barkley Marathons, April 1st, 2012#BM100 pic.twitter.com/0bXmgzbmVP

— Henry Speir (@henryspeir) March 16, 2023

#7: Go at a pace comfortable for *you*. If you plan on going with someone else, you are going at their pace, at some point this will be too fast. (Attributed to two-time Barkley finisher David Horton.) Corollary: The virgin would be wise to seek a vet that is otherwise likely to move at a slower natural pace than them. (See also self-evident truths #8, #9 and #5).

The Barkley virgin is a parasite

#8: The most important decision the Barkley virgin can make is which veteran they will try to follow. Choose wisely. (See also Barkley self-evident truth #7.)

#9: The Barkley virgin is a parasite and any self-respecting veteran will attempt to “scrape”(drop) them at some point. (See also Barkley self-evident truth #8.)

Barkley self-evident truth #9
#BM100 pic.twitter.com/6mDmfUJ3Mg

— Henry Speir (@henryspeir) March 15, 2023

#10: You will vastly increase your chances at success if you know where you are and are able to pick out where you are on the map at all times; keep track as you progress and make a mental note as you get to each book or pass significant terrain features. At some point, you are likely to find yourself alone. (See also Barkley self-evident truth #9)

(To be continued)