A little resiliency goes a long way

Resiliency is being able to rebound and return to form after something hasn’t gone according to plan.

I’ve always considered myself a resilient person, having the ability and experience to get up after being knocked down.

How many of you remember the 90s hit song “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba? I heard it last week and it reminded me of my first year at Concordia University where I played CIAU (now CIS) hockey. As a rookie, trying to prove myself, there were plenty of ups and downs. During the downs I often drew upon my boarding school experience at Athol Murray College of Notre Dame in Saskatchewan. It was a tough, competitive environment with many challenges, but ultimately a rewarding experience filled with life lessons.

It was there I learned how to get up after being knocked down. Whether it was a bad practice, poor exam or rough night in the dorms, I always found my way back up. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was learning the art of resiliency, a valuable lesson I carried with me to college.

My mantra through my rookie season at Concordia was: “All I can do is the best I can do.” I should note this was my mantra for hockey, not academics (that’s another blog for another time). This little phrase helped me stay focused on the things I could control, while letting go of the things I could not, from injury to illness, not starting to not getting the performance I wanted, whatever it was at the time.

This mantra also kept me focused when things went my way, and a lot did go my way that season — I was the top rookie goal scorer and we won the first-ever CIAU Women’s Hockey National Championship. However, looking back there were more challenges that year than there were celebrations. Just as it was at boarding school, I was continuing to learn how to be resilient — a quality I’m grateful to have in my adult life. And, as runner it’s a must-have.

Over the past month I have struggled with my health. A virus I thought I had kicked a couple weeks ago, hit hard last Sunday morning. I started wheezing halfway through a team workout and was having difficulty breathing. “What’s going on?” I asked myself. “I thought I was over this?” As we rested between intervals coach Jason came over and said I looked good. He was right. I was running well and looking strong. What he couldn’t see was my breathing was off. He couldn’t see it because I was concentrating hard on keeping it in check. And because we were doing intervals in a park where we disappeared for a good portion of it. I told him about the breathing and we agreed to watch it as I set off for another 2K interval. I finished it, but not without some heavy wheezing — enough to make a teammate look back wondering what was going on.

During the next rest I was able to check my breathing enough to feel comfortable going again for the next interval. Up the hill I went, concentrating on my breathing, keeping it under control as much as possible. Then, as I turned the corner to head down the hill, I could feel myself losing control of it. As I continued down the hill I tried to manipulate my breath back into order, but I couldn’t. I suddenly couldn’t get air in. I stopped.

Not what I wanted to do, not the place I wanted to be at this point in the season, not anything good (in my mind). All sorts of negative thoughts came streaming in as I slowly started gaining back my breath. That was it for the workout for me. It was frustrating.

Coach Jason’s instructions were to get to the doctor the next day if my breathing had not returned to normal. It didn’t, so I did end up at the doctor. It turns out I have a sinus infection — likely the remnants of that virus I had been fighting. The infection has been irritating my airways and causing the shortness of breath and wheezing.

This put me out on rest until Sunday, which was upsetting at first, but I eventually realized “All I can do was the best I can do.” And that was to take care of myself, rest and get healthy. I had been given a choice, just as I had been given a choice at boarding school and university: let myself stay upset, or recognize this is yet another step in a long journey. I chose the latter. Resiliency.