Why a little self hate goes a long way in running

Are runners generally happy people? Maybe after their runs they are. My anecdotal evidence tells me that many of us are self-medicating through running.

Recently, two of my friends were chatting about training. One was asking how the other pushes herself so hard in workouts when she herself couldn’t seem to. The friend’s reply: “You just don’t hate yourself enough.” She seems to be touching on the idea of justifying oneself based on running performance.

I totally get it. Usually, I too need a little bit of self-imposed suffering in order to feel balanced.

This isn’t always the case with me, but oftentimes it is. There have been times in my life when I’ve felt generally at ease and happy. Usually these times coincide with vacations which is why I think it’s so hard to keep up training while on a break. When I’m not feeling anxious or a little unhappy with myself I do still run. It’s just that during those times, I don’t run extra hard or extra far. I don’t feel the urge, so I don’t do it.

This whole conundrum reminds me of a line from a Barenaked Ladies song which goes, “She’s like a baby, I’m like a cat. When we are happy we both get fat.” It’s a similar situation.

Some people tolerate pain better than others, and we know that that tolerance can be trained. You can learn to accept pain. But why would you?

There is definitely a subset of people who relish in the “cleansing” or “absolving” of self-flagellation while running on the roads, track or hills. That alone gives running purpose other than simply getting a fast time in the next race. For some, I’d say, the race is actually just a socially acceptable way to justify our need for ritualistic masochism.

But with all this said, one questions remains: If you’re a generally happy person who isn’t overly hard on yourself enough in training for that next PB, how can you harness this secret power?

My running buddies and I had a good laugh about that the other day. Want to run faster? Try bombing a big presentation OR pick a fight with a loved one where you’re clearly in the wrong OR binge out on your kids’ Halloween candy when they’re in bed… whatever will make you feel guilty enough to dig a little deeper on that extra mile repeat the next day.

I’m not sure if you can replicate the exact same twisted torment of self-hate that plagues the hardest working runners, but worth a try, right?