Learning to stop comparing yourself to others and steering clear of the Instagram phenomenon

Learning to stop comparing yourself is much easier said than done. One sports psychologist talks about healthy rivalries, changing jealous thought processes into positive ones as well as recognizing when social media competition is just not worth it.  

We all do it. We hear about another runner’s training program, see their performance in a race or glimpse at the one who passes us on the street and compare their progress to our own. It’s nearly impossible not to get sucked into measuring our success against others’ in a sport where we are all competing for the top spots in a race.

Runners are competitive people by nature and one of the big parts of racing is seeing who does it the best. It’s tough to avoid playing the comparison game even though we’ve all heard that comparing ourselves is often damaging and not conducive to better running.

“Our natural inclination is to always look at others and feel that we’re doing less than,” says Kim Dawson sports psychologist, professor at Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, Ont. and starter of performance psychology business Mind2Achieve. “But it’s a psychological bias. You have to know what that person is doing in a 24-hour period.”

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We chatted with Dawson to talk about why we compare, how to stop it or compare in a healthy way. If you get sucked into obsessing over other runners’ mileage, results, form or workouts, you can at last learn to develop this thinking into a more positive mindset. Here are some of Dawson’s main take-home points for runners:

If you must compare, look only at other’s who lead a similar lifestyle. Comparing can be a motivator for some people if it’s done with a healthy mindset. Measuring the self against others is only a good idea if that’s going to give that motivational boost to get out for the workout, train harder or dig a little deeper on the track. But that won’t happen if you’re measuring yourself against a runner who doesn’t navigate the same barriers that you do. For example, Dawson says, it’s not wise for a working mother in her forties to compare herself to a 20-year-old university student. Similarly, someone who got into running in their mid-twenties also has a different level of experience compared to someone who started running in their early teens.

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Avoid getting sucked into the Instagram phenomenon. There’s no shortage of running apps on the market that beg runners to compare mileage, pace or run frequency to each other. Many of these apps encourage comparing and that can be quite the slippery slope. “That’s the Instagram phenomenon,” says Dawson adding that similar to social media, runners use these resources to create an ideal image that doesn’t reflect reality. “No one can compete in that world,” she says. When one tries to keep up, they run a serious risk of injury.

Say yes to healthy competition only. If you do engage in a little friendly competition on these apps or in practice, know the difference between healthy versus unhealthy rivalry. “You never want it to steal your power, you want it to empower you,” says Dawson. Don’t use your place in a race to validate yourself as a runner. “If you’re defining your worth by whether or not you can beat that person, that’s what you don’t want,” says Dawson.

Bring it back to what you can control. When it comes to psychology there are three factors that are within your own control: Behaviour. Thoughts. And feelings. When and if you find that you’re comparing yourself to another runner, rather than thinking “He/she is better,” recognize that they got there through hard work. Alter your thought process by taking inspiration from their achievements instead, says Dawson, and ask yourself if you can borrow some of their tactics. Remember, when it comes to sport, positive self talk is your number one friend.