The hurdling toddlers from Twitter: inner monologues

There’s something irresistible about the video of toddlers falling over hurdles that’s been going around Twitter. It’s a classic illustration of how differently (and sometimes idiotically) runners approach their sport, and possibly life in general. The trick is to watch a different kid each time. (It somehow gets funnier each time you watch it.) Here’s our version of what’s going on in each kid’s head.

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focus on a different child every time you watch ?? pic.twitter.com/gGpowtXKGP

— ραριℓℓση (@ttprettyinpink) December 13, 2019

From left:

The kid in the white shirt: arrives at the hurdle, picks it up, moves it out of his way, then stands there. “Hm. A hurdle. Better move it. OK done. Whew. Now what?”

The kid in the black shirt: runs past the hurdle, starts to circle it, stops, looks at the hurdle. Then he runs back again, crouches, and jumps over the hurdle with both feet. “What’s this? A hurdle? I am having none of this. Oh–maybe I better rethink that… don’t wanna get DQ’d in my first race. And… done!”

The kid in the red shirt: arrives at the hurdle. Seems to understand what’s required, but just can’t quite make it over the hurdle. Jumps half-heartedly on the spot, twice. “I think I can, I think I can. Actually, I can’t.”

The kid in the striped shirt: immediately abandons assigned lane. “Every lane is your lane if you want it to be.” Jumps the hurdle and continues on his way. (Definitely a podium contender.)

The kid in the green shirt whose lane gets overtaken by the kid in the striped shirt: This kid gets passed by the kid in stripes, and is so thrilled to have a partner that he just copies everything the striped-shirt kid does (except successfully execute the hurdle). “This is so awesome, because honestly? This is the first time I’ve ever seen these orange things. My mom and dad don’t own these orange things. I don’t even think my sister has orange things. So it’s really helpful to have a comrade in the pursuit of getting around the orange things.”

The kid in the orange shirt who falls before even getting to the hurdle: This kid takes short, choppy steps, and doesn’t make it very far. “Oh crap–I tripped over my own feet. Whatever… my mom made me do this thing anyway.”

The kid in the orange shorts, furthest to the right: is honestly really good at hurdling. “Why are these other kids so bad at hurdling?” (Another podium contender.)

Will whoever shot this video please tell us who won?