All Boston marathoners are cheats

Busted.

All you “fast” runners out there who have been telling me that the Boston Marathon is “hard”… I know your truth. Heartbreak hill is actually a huge mound of gummy bears and marshmallows and you ride in go-carts when your legs ache.

I guess the Boston Athletic Association makes it hard to get in so all of us “slow” runners can’t see you lining up for the gold-plated port ‘o potties and en-route massages.

But don’t blame me for giving away your secret. I’m not the rat.

Point your fingers at Geoffery Mutai who loped over yesterday’s Boston Marathon finish line in an easy 2:03:02 and 2nd place finisher Moses Mosop who followed just four seconds later, eclipsing the world record by almost a minute.

Can you spell “unfair advantage”?

It’s official. The IAAF admits Boston is too easy and refuses to ratify Mutai’s time as the new world record.

And they’re right.

After all, notorious fraudster Mutai last made news for claiming workers comp for a back injury while in fact simultaneously working full-time as an exotic dancer.

Dear readers, let’s just say leopards don’t change their spots.

Are you kidding me???????

Not one, but two guys beat the world record in a race that is notoriously hard to get into, comprises insane hills, a star studded field and has served as a barometer of marathon dominance for years, and they don’t get credit? That seems unfair. (If you want to see just how easy the Boston Marathon is – check out this video of some of yesterday’s finishers.)

On a bright note, I must be onto something. The Kenyan method works (Bear in mind this blog is not called “Couch to Canuck”). That said, Canada did enjoy a successful running weekend, with both Reid Coolsaet and his training partner Eric Gillies winning their respective races.

Note also that a Kenyan woman, Caroline Kilel, also won in Boston, crossing the line in 2:22:36 with American Desiree Davila finishing two seconds later and breaking her national record. Amazing.

And then there’s me. This weekend I got to level 3 in Donkey Kong.

See, everyone’s improving.

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