My New Year’s resolution: Saying “YES”

Is it too early for New Year’s resolutions? Because I have one which I’m trying out.

Maybe it’s not so much a resolution but more of a philosophy. It’s not an “all or nothing” philosophy, it’s just a changed approach to how I view opportunities, invitations and experiences.

Have I mentioned that I’m now 40? (Actually I think I’ve mentioned it in every post I’ve written since turning 40 in July.) Turning 40 hasn’t changed me overnight, but there’s no denying that it’s a milestone age. For me, it has brought a little self-reflection and called up the questions like: What I am doing with my life? What am I seeking or striving for? When will I know when I’m there? What does “success” mean?

I think the biggest insight I’ve gleaned from this milestone is that I am living my life NOW. In my teens, twenties and thirties, most of my goals, aspirations and dreams were all based in the future: one day I can train hard and run fast if I want to; one day I could carve out time write a book; one day I will slow down and enjoy people’s company more.

Meanwhile, I had been living my life on fast-forward automatic pilot, doing what needed to get done, putting new experiences on hold, rarely stopping to talk or have coffee with a friend and not veering outside of my comfortable routine.

But suddenly, when I turned 40, there was a shift. If I was going to do something or be someone, I needed to be doing it now. Instead of seeing my future self as a fictional someone to whom I could indefinitely forward my “to-do” list, I’ve suddenly caught up and am now that person.

So what does this mean? To me it means I’m making an effort to say “yes” to opportunities and experiences. It definitely takes more effort to go to every holiday party, make running and lunch dates, sign up for out of town races, plan new family adventures, try a new sport, take on new work projects, etc. But if I’m not doing these things now, another year will pass me by in another unremarkable blur. When I have new experiences, I feel alive. I feel I’m at a pinnacle where there are two choices: growth or decay. There is no standing still.

Here is what happens when I say “Yes”:

• This past summer as I cheered on my husband while he competed in dozens of paddling races, I thought “Why am I watching and not doing?” So I jumped into a new sport (paddling), competed in numerous races and have loved it.

  

   

• I recently ran the Canadian cross-country championships in Kingston Ont. Not because I was in great shape or because I love cross-country, but because I got to see people whose company I enjoy. I challenged myself, and created a new experience. I’m so glad I did it.

• I’ve been working this season on being more social and going to more holiday gatherings. It’s an effort which usually involves planning and scheduling, not to mention actually getting off the couch and out the door. But talking to people and engaging in ideas is interesting. Sharing a laugh is energizing. Meeting someone new with a different world view is enlightening. And reconnecting with old friends is some of the best fun you can have.

So going forward, when a new opportunity comes up, unless I have a very good reason to say “no”, I’m going to take a chance on saying “yes”. This is me living my life at 40.