How the characters from The Office would stack up in a 5K

In honour of the cast reunion of The Office, here's how a hypothetical 5K would go down between the show's characters

Madeleine Kelly December 4, 2018

The cast of The Office reunited over the weekend for a brunch. Several of the cast members tweeted out a photo of their reunion. The Office had some truly iconic running scenes, the most famous being season four episode two called Fun Run. In this episode, the characters ran a race called, “Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race for the Cure.”

I had brunch with these oddballs today. Love you #officemates #theoffice pic.twitter.com/UWnkOaU1p3

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) December 3, 2018

In honour of the reunion of one of the greatest casts ever assembled, we’ve put together a ranking of how we think the show’s characters would finish in a hypothetical race today.

Winner – Dwight Schrute (25:00)

via GIPHY

Dwight would be the winner because he’s all about preparation and hard work. Dwight’s beet farming has taught him hard work, and his drive to beat Jim at everything encourages his preparation. Also we’re pretty sure he and Mose train together.

Second – Angela Martin (25:06)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfMkCd4g1A5/

Angela seems like someone who would enjoy running. She’s very regimented, organized and type A. As one of the more uptight characters on the show, taking up running might aid in stress relief. Also, she and Dwight are very competitive with one another, so Dwight’s win would push Angela.

Third – Creed Bratton (25:58)

https://www.instagram.com/p/6Q4fH_R1lK/

Creed is constantly referencing strange hobbies he has, and unexpected sub-cultures that he knows a ton about, running could be one of those things. If Creed got into running he would likely approach it quietly and obsessively – the key to becoming a good runner.

Fourth – Micheal Scott (26:30)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BaXFlNSF4Vy/

Micheal would desperately want the win, but over-prepare for the event and sabotage himself. In season four he ate too much fettucini alfredo and vomited. In a race today he might skip the pre-race pasta but over-consume something else like gels or Gatorade.

Micheal would also wear a very fancy race outfit. He would look the part, but wouldn’t come out on top.

Fifth – Andy Bernard (27:15)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTeMUyRDN4F/

Andy would run to a playlist of “Here Comes Treble” and get so lost in the music that he literally gets lost. He finds his way eventually, but it takes a while.

Sixth – Kevin Malone (27:30)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnUtkfhH3t2/

Kevin’s earnest approach to life and his job would likely be applied to running as well. Kevin wouldn’t be the best, but he would out-preform many of his colleagues on heart alone. Also, as viewers know, Kevin makes a mean chili which serves as a great post-race recovery food.

DNF – Phyllis Vance

Can we appreciate Bob Vance’s groom cake being a refrigerator for a second pic.twitter.com/xTGJczCuog

— Jim Halpert (@JimHalpert__) November 30, 2018

Chances are Phyllis left early to head over Vance Refrigeration to see her husband, Bob. But Phyllis is also MVP because as head of the party planning committee, she for sure has something planned for after.

DNS – Toby Flenderson and Stanley Hudson

Toby is technically the defending champion of the Fun Run for the Cure, but everyone loves an upset, or better yet, someone who’s too scared to show up and try to defend their title. Toby is still on vacation and therefore unable to make it. But even if he showed up it wouldn’t matter, because Michael has indefinitely disqualified him from the event for being annoying.

Stanley refused to participate and no one questioned him.