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Stuff marathoners say

Everything you hear on your Sunday morning long run

Running has several disciplines, and each has its own language. Track runners say stuff that road runners don’t understand and road runners say stuff that trail runners don’t get. With that in mind, here’s a list of things that you’re most likely to hear from marathoners (or, frankly, road runners of any distance). 

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“What should my run title be?”

When runners have a tough day, one of the first things they say is, “not going on Strava.” But when they have a good day, it’s time to post that run with a flashy caption. 

“What’s that per K?”

For some odd reason, marathoners only understand pace per kilometre. So even when they’re running on the track (and could break their efforts down into easily digestible 200m splits), they want to know what it translates to in kilometre pace and follow along on their GPS watch. 

“Wait, I need my watch signal”

Runners will stand around for ages while they all wait for their watches to sync. This doesn’t happen as often to track runners (who use dumb-watches) and trail runners (who have, like, 80K for their watch to get a signal). But marathoners will stand around with their hands raised while they wait to acquire signals. 

“That’s not enough food”

This is usually preceded by an “I’m starving.”

“Sorry, I can’t come, I need to nap”

When you’re running a lot, sleep is not only necessary, but also (at times) literally all your body can do. It may seem unfathomable as an adult to avoid social gatherings because you need to nap, but if you’re running enough, it happens.

“I didn’t run that time in carbon-plated shoes”

There are now two kinds of personal bests: the carbon-plated PB and the pre-carbon-plated PB. They might be very different. 

“I’m just going to do an easy 7K warmup”

For many runners, a 7K run is not a warmup, it’s an entire workout. However, if you’re training for a marathon, the slow, easy miles are your bread and butter. 

“I booked my hotel for Boston 2023”

Even if they haven’t qualified yet, runners are booking accommodation, like, years into the future. 

“My feet need some serious attention”

No one needs a pedicure more than a marathoner.

“Today we’re actually running slowly”

Said at the beginning of every recovery run, before you and your friend inevitably run too fast. 

“I shouldn’t have eaten eggs with hot sauce for breakfast”

 

Everyone has strayed from their typical path and made a poor breakfast decision, only to regret it a couple of hours later. 

“I’m not injured”

As you stumble down the stairs in pain every morning for two weeks.

“I’m never doing that again”

After everyone’s first marathon, they swear there will never be another – but there almost always is.