Has anyone seen my monkey?

If a picture tells a thousand words – what is this one saying?

To me, it says “Holy mother f-er, it’s really frickin’ cold.”

That’s Joe.  A guy from my running group. I took that ‘cold snap’ yesterday, not during an arctic expedition, but on the frigid plains of Burlington, Ontario, after a long run in -17c “feels like -25c” weather.

Let’s just say I have a new found respect for you readers on the Prairies (that famous Little House was probably a mansion until it shrank in the cold).  It was so frigid yesterday the corners of my eyes froze together, the energy-drink carefully protected under my jacket became a popsicle and tragically, Dennis, my brass monkey was last seen wandering in search of a skilled welder.

I know, you’ve heard me go on about the weather before. If you haven’t, good news,  you can here and here.  And you’ve also heard me pontificate on why we runners even bother, but I have to admit, yesterday it was different.

Yesterday, I actually liked it.  Some sort of self-righteous aura surrounded me as I passed by the sleepy  houses in the wee hours of the dark morning:

ME: “Wake up you fools and let me blow your minds as I speed past your bungalow!”

BURLINGTON RESIDENT (to tired spouse): “Hey, is that monkey holding a lunch box?

And while I couldn’t feel my toes, my melancholy also seemed frozen. What I did feel was strong, happy and alive. Pushing through the elements, up the hills and onwards with my training schedule was more invigorating than a post-sauna slap with a birch branch.

I also learnt:
– Once you’re out there it’s really not as bad as it seems
– Forget sandy beaches, snow is a super-duper resistance workout
– Running in the cold is not nearly as dangerous as reporting in it
– When the sun does peak through the clouds it feels extra-awesome
– Sub-zero running is a million times less boring than this

Oh and thank God for my neck warmer!  Check out the picture below to see what a top-notch job it did of keeping me warm.

Next time, I’ve decided to tape on frozen peas instead…just as warm and a nutritious snack to boot.

Do you have great winter running shots? Send them to me, I’m starting a hall of shivers. If you make the cut, I’ll post you in future blogs.

Oh, and hey, has anyone seen Dennis?

Later, my fellow couch surfers.

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