Taper time

Today was my last pre-race long run and it sucked more than the movie ‘Killers’.  I spent the two-plus hours feeling tired and heavy and cursing myself for holding on to these extra three pounds (okay, 20) for this long. By the time I finished, I wasn’t just questioning my ability to respectably lose to my little brother, but couldn’t even say with certainty that I’d beat Reid Coolsaet (he’ll probably do a lazy 2:13).

My body is wilting under the pressure of Dr. Stevil’s regimen and it’s telling me it’s time: Time to taper, that is.  Thank you, Sweet Baby Suri.

Yours truly may not have been born a runner, but I am a natural-born taperer. Seriously,  my sweatpants and mumderpants are going to be rocked so hard in the next two weeks, they’ll think they’re at a Justin Beiber concert.

Sadly, Dr. Steve won’t let me hang up my sneakers altogether – but no track work, no hills and no long distances is a welcome relief.  It also means that, until race day, I can focus on getting my mind into the game as much as my body.

A little refresher on that: Last May I wanted to run the Ottawa Marathon in 4:20. I ran it in 4:28:08. What went wrong? I trained hard enough.  I fueled well. My hair looked awesome. But in the end, it got hard and my mind told me that running fast was overrated.

That won’t happen this time.  If I don’t make my goal (1:55 to 1:59) it will be due to a dragon attack, not because my mind talked me out of it.

So here’s my plan:
— I’ve spent the day (post-run) looking up Kenyan running tips. So far all I’ve found is “work hard”. I’ve written this ingenious motto on my right palm for safe keeping.
— I’m trying to arrange a pre-race pep talk with a sports psychologist (details to follow in another blog). Possibly, it will be Dr Phil…or maybe Hannibal Lector, I’m undecided.
— I’ve temporarily suspended my preparations for the World Sauna Championships
— I’m visualizing the race course and my glorious finish
— I’m coming up with a race-day plan
— I’m washing down my Doritos with plenty of water.

So what do you think? Good ideas or a recipe for disaster? What do you do to get yourself ready for race day? Any and all advice is appreciated, but the best comment (as judged by me) gets the size 2 shorts I’ve been trying to give away for months now. You owe it to yourself and others. The shorts are 100 per cent awesome.

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